4 Key Pieces of Real Long-Distance Relationship Advice
You’ve heard it once; you’ve heard it a dozen times. When you tell someone that you’re in a long-distance relationship they tend to look at you with those “feel sorry for you eyes” and proceed to ask how you manage. Of course there are many obstacles in a long-distance relationship to be faced as opposed to a more stereotypical relationship. Your friends and family might warn you that it’s a bad idea. People might not take your relationship as seriously as you do.
First and foremost, no matter what people say – no matter how they doubt you – trust your gut. If you meet the right person at the right time, then follow your heart. Yes, you could get hurt in the long run and maybe there is more working against you long distance – but what if that person is “the one?” What if everything works out and it’s worth it? You’ll never know unless you try. With all my heart, I believe that love is worth the risk! So if you decided you’re going to give a long-distance relationship a go, then go into with a positive attitude – be prepared to give it 100%!
Not to mention, long-distance relationships can be even healthier for some couples. In a 2013 study published in the Journal of Communication proved couples in long-distance relationships talk about more meaningful and significant thoughts and feelings. Despite the distance, they experience a heightened sense of intimacy (Huffington Post)
According to the Huffington Post, “Couples who lived apart tended to have fewer daily interactions, but those interactions were longer and more meaningful, with each person revealing more about him or herself. The researchers are not certain why, exactly, distance tended to foster deeper interactions, but they do suggest that couples who live apart may idealize their partners’ personal disclosures.”
Well-ah! Don’t let the doubts of others drive you away from something that could make you really, really happy. If you’re already in a long-distance relationship or are considering entering into one, here is some stellar advice to keep things healthy and intimate.
#1. Communication is the foundation on which you’ll build this relationship.
It’s the truth. Every relationship needs communication, but long-distance relationships require it on a different level. You have to make the effort to feel connected. It’s so important to make your significant other feel both heard and wanted from miles and miles away. Long-distance couples are better at communicating affection and intimacy than other couples, but it takes practice. Another thing to keep in mind is to not overdo it with communication. The key to success here is quality over quantity. Don’t spend all day texting and have nothing to talk about come nighttime.
#2. Make sure to manage each other’s expectations.
Again, long-distance is hard, as that annoying cliché goes, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Before you enter your long-distance relationship, it’s important to talk about how much and how often you will see each other. This requires a lot of teamwork and a lot more financial consideration/budgeting then you might think. Discuss when who will travel to who, whether you guys will split flights/gas or if you’ll each just pay for yourselves. Though this might not seem important right away, as time goes on you don’t want to be on different pages.
#3. Learn to talk dirty.
You thought we weren’t going to mention this, huh? Sex is a biological AND emotional need in a relationship. Long-distance means you’re physically far away from each-other so this is your way of keeping things hot and steamy without even a touch. Whether it’s Snapchat, phone sex or dirty text messages – you’ll learn to perfect the art of sexless sex. And because you can only send pictures and talk dirty, when you get to actually be with each other – everything is that much more amazing (talk about fireworks).
#4. Learn to appreciate your independence and time with your friends.
The reality is that if your long-distance relationship works, eventually one of you will move to be with the other one. That means you’ll either be leaving a life behind to start a new beginning with the person you love, or they’ll enter your life and change up the dynamics. Both situations are undoubtedly beautiful, but definitely hard to adjust to. While you’re on your own, take the time to really hangout with your friends and family. When you and your loved one are finally united, they’ll become your best friend and who you spend most of your time with – so don’t waste your solo time on staying in. Go out to bars with the guys or the girls – go on family vacations – do the things you won’t be able to do AS MUCH of once you’re with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Obviously, this doesn’t mean you won’t get to do those things when you’re together, but the amount of freedom you have to do so will naturally decline.