20 Everyday Things You Should Know to Determine If They’re ‘The One’

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the one soulmate

Soul mates. Love at first sight. Destiny. Fate. Chemistry. The one – what a scary yet beautiful concept.

Who is to say what is and isn’t real when it comes to love? Not I – that’s for sure. Many people who are madly in love can remember the exact moment when they looked at their person and cautiously recognized for the first time that they were in fact in love. Some people swear it happened the first time the ever lay on eyes on their love and others don’t feel this until many years after getting to know each other intimately. The romantics, dreamers and Pisces out there will tell you that love is just an indescribable feeling that can barely be put into words – it’s your soul recognizing itself as perfect match in someone else’s soul. All the academics, realists and Scorpios out there will tell you love is science. 

According to Helen Fisher of Rutgers University, there are three stages to love experienced by human beings:

Stage 1: Lust

This is the first stage of love and is driven by the sex hormones testosterone and oestrogen – in both men and women.

Stage 2: Attraction

This is the amazing time when you are truly love-struck and can think of little else. Scientists think that three main neurotransmitters are involved in this stage; adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin. 

Stage 3: Attachment

Attachment is the bond that keeps couples together long enough for them to have and raise children. Scientists think there might be two major hormones involved in this feeling of attachment; oxytocin and vasopressin,” via Your Amazing Brain. 

All hormones aside, we’re here to make the argument that within these three stages of love, these 20 things SHOULD be known about your significant other in order to REALLY tell if they’re the one for you. In theory, you should know this stuff about your love before you decide to spend the rest of your lives together. By knowing these 20 things about your boyfriend or girlfriend or anything in between, you can determine if you know enough about the REAL them and their EVERYDAY selves to say whether or not they’re “the one.”

soulmate love true

#20. What kind of music they listen to when they work out:

Are they running on the treadmill to EDM or Taking Back Sunday? Some people need that fast-paced beat to keep them going; others need that emotional, angry drive to get them moving.

#19. Financially speaking, what are their spending habits like: 

Finances are a tricky one when it comes to relationships, especially within the first year. At this point you two are probably not sharing a bank account, but it’s important to recognize whether you two are willing to splurge on the same things to decrease any future tension about money.

#18. What their long-term career goals are:

Maybe you two are on the more or less ambitious spectrum. Not only should you know what their dream job is, but it might say something about the intimacy of your relationship if you haven’t asked. 

#17. Their political views:

Liberal or conservative or neither? Are they heavily influenced by their family or where they grew up? This doesn’t have to play any vital role in your relationship, but it’s important to know.

#16. What nickname they absolutely despise:

Sometimes, “honey” is just OUT of the picture.

#15. The name of their first real heartbreak:

As much as we all hate hearing about our significant other’s prior relationships, it’s important to know where they came from – how they’ve been shaped – and possibly who that person is. Mature couples are able to talk about this without over sharing.

#14. How religious they really are:

Some people highly value religion and it’s influence on their lives. It’s very important to know where your love stands in their religious views and how that could potentially affect your future relationship, marriage or kids. 

#13. What appetizer do you know you’ll always agree on?

Chips and salsa? Nachos? Chicken Wings?

#12. What they do for the big holidays:

This might not be critical in the beginning of a relationship, but as your grow together you’ll start spending holidays together. You’ll should know what holidays they NEED to be with their family and compromise on which holidays you need to be with yours.

#11. What they do when they’re feeling frisky:

Maybe they start playing footsie with you or come right out and say “I want you.” Either way, you should know your significant other’s sexual “tells” by now.

#10. Their favorite comfy old t-shirt or sweatpants 

You just KNOW at 8 p.m. on the dot her bra is coming off and the old All American Rejects t-shirt is going on. 

#9. What kind of drunk they are:

Chances are you guys have gone out drinking together enough to know if they’re the kind of drunk who likes to fight, who falls asleep at the bar, who runs off and makes friends, who gets really quiet – this is a part of your “person” that you should know.

#8. Their average level of cleanliness:

Can you handle how clean or NOT clean they are? It’s pretty easy to recognize whether someone is more Type A when it comes to cleanliness or not. Will clothes lying around bothering you for the rest of your life? Are you comfortable talking about who should do the dirty dishes and how often?

#7. How they wind down after a long day: 

People need to decompress in a wide variety of ways. A lot of people get home from work and just need to be quiet for a little while (especially guys). They go into their man caves and will come out and be themselves as soon as they’re ready. Does your person do this or do they need to instantly pour themselves a glass a wine?

 #6. Their go-to snack: salty or sweet:

When you two sit down to watch your favorite show together, are they reaching for the bag of Salt and Vinegar chips or the low-fat ice cream?

 #5. Do they like to fall asleep with the TV on:

This is kind of a biggie. A lot of people need absolute silence and darkness to fall asleep. Others like to watch something or have the AC on as background noise while they go to bed.

#4. Their alcoholic beverage of choice:

Again, something you should probably know by now. It’s special when you can order for someone without them having to tell you what they want. Sometimes it’s these little details that mean a lot.

#3. About how many drinks until they’re crawling home:

Okay, alcohol again. Can they throwback 5 shots and 4 beers and walk out the front door no problem or are they ready to go home after only two cocktails?

 #2. How they drink their coffee in the morning? Or tea? Or energy drink?

 You could be having coffee with this person every morning for the rest of your life. Don’t you want to know how they like it?

#1. Dog person or a cat person:

 You should know this by the end of the first date, let alone by the time you’re considering “forever” with them!

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